2 weeks

Dear Noah,
It has been two weeks. I’m not sure how time keeps going without you, but it does. I miss you everyday. I have a pendant with your name from a friend. She almost lost her baby. I remember being terrified for her. I never thought it would happen to me. I don’t know if Owen understands what’s going on. He’s your big brother and he’s two. We try to explain, but he still lifts my shirt and pats my stomach and says baby, just like he did when you were kicking in my belly. But he doesn’t try to kiss you anymore. I want to kiss you a thousand times, I miss you so much. Everything keeps happening. Grocery shopping, meals, friends, and yet you aren’t here. I don’t know how I keep going, I just know I have to. I worry that by keeping going people will thinks we’ve forgotten, or don’t miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. But I have to keep going, because I’m afraid if I stop, I will never start again. I have to be strong for Owen, for your dad. But really all I want to do is sit and be with you. I love you so much. You are my son, and I will always miss you.
Love always,
Mom

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