We has a cookie exchange at my moms group today. There are two moms due the month I was. One sent an email saying how great the cookies were and “Just wish I was enjoying all this chocolate with a little red wine, next year I suppose.” It was hard enough just seeing her. I really didn’t need that in my inbox when I got home too. And it’s not just me, another mom lost her baby at 13w 2 weeks after we lost Noah.
Is it just me, or should that be a no brainier? Don’t complain about not being able to drink during your healthy pregnancy to two women who lost their babies less than 2 months ago!
Other things that have been said by these two women –
- “oh, I just wish I knew what my baby looked like!”(What we wanted to say) “Well we knew and wish we didn’t because it would mean our babies were still safe inside us.”
- “It’s just torture to try to think of something to be grateful for!” (During a thanksgiving gratitude time) “How about your healthy baby, you nitwit!”
- “Oh let (older son) hold your baby so he can practice being a big brother! I think I’ll leave the room now…
Is it just me? Obviously if I am going to these events (which I have to, I can’t keep Owen away from his friends indefinitely) I’m going to see these people. And it will suck. It will suck watching them get more and more pregnant. It will suck when they give birth on or around Noah’s due date. It will suck when they come back with their healthy newborns the same age Noah should have been. Everything about being around them sucks. There is just no getting around it. But do you think they could think before opening their mouths? That us, sitting staring at them would’ve a reminder of how fragile life is, and just how lucky they are?