BFN, and why testing early isn’t evil

So the blood test came back this morning with a BFN.  This is despite multiple, light, but clear positives.

Tuesday on a FRER

ImageThursday on a Wofondo IC

Image

So this means either

  1. False Positives
  2. Chemical Pregnancy

I’m leaning towards #1, or a combination, because the ICs were 2 hours after the blood test that was negative.  Both during the whole “why are some tests positive and some tests negative?” debacle and since, I’ve gotten a lot of comments in the vein of “this is what you get for testing so early.”  These comments irritate the crap out of me for several reasons.

  1. I have tested starting at 8DPO for literally 12 cycles now.  I have never had a problem like this before.  My tests have either been clearly positive or clearly negative.  I have had a few evaporation lines, but not pink ones, and not multiple times in one cycle.
  2. When I have gotten an early positive before, the lines have continued to get progressively darker, so there was no confusion.
  3. These were faulty tests showing false positives.  They would have still been faulty at 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14DPO etc.  Not testing early would not have saved me from false positives.  
  4. If there was a chemical pregnancy I would want to know about it. If it happened once, it would suck.  If it recurred, I would want recurrent loss panels, or at least to have my lining monitored.
  5. “But why test at all?  Why not wait until your period is late?”
    1. I have a history of progesterone deficiency.  Because of this, I use OTC progesterone cream from ovulation through when I get enough negative tests to give up.  Supplementary progesterone can delay AF, making when I would be “late” hard to determine.
    2. When I last got cycles regularly, my LP and my cycle length varied greatly.  Couple that with the fact that I have had 4 periods in the last 3 years?  I have no damn idea when I would be late.
  6. Have you seen this video on empathy?  It says “Empathetic statements rarely start with ‘at least.'”  Guess what?  They also don’t start or imply “I told you so.”  No one knew that I would get false positives this week anymore than they knew I wouldn’t get them the last 11 cycles that I tested early.  It happened.  It sucks.  And even if it did happen because of testing early (which it didn’t) it is still not a helpful statement or sentiment.  Sympathize.  Empathize.  Tell me this sucks, and you wish it had turned out differently.  Please.  Do not say or imply “I told you so.”

***Caveats and Disclaimers***  (Also, I like lists today)

  1. I have heard others say “I never test early.”  This doesn’t bother me as much.  Many people don’t want to deal with seeing a BFN ever.  So not testing is the right decision for them.  It can be the right decision for them and not the right decision for me.
  2. This is not directed at any one person/comment/etc.  I have heard this from numerous people this week, and just wanted to put in one place my reasons for testing early and why I do not think this was caused by testing early.

I am going to make some changes to my routine/supplements/avoidances this next cycle.  I know they may not make any difference, and no doing them is probably not the cause of a BFN this cycle.  Probably nothing is.  I know that when everything is right, you still have only a 1 in 4 shot at that elusive BFP.  But they can’t hurt.  Wishing everyone else in the 2WW luck.  I hope AF comes soon (now that I have stopped the progesterone,) and I can get this ball rolling again.

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13 thoughts on “BFN, and why testing early isn’t evil

  1. I hope I did not offend you in any shape or form. I know how you feel when it comes to random periods. I used to have the same problem. In fact I got pregnant and had to do the whole test 19 days after every time we had sex. Not fun. I started to get my cycles back with Chinese herbs. Doesn’t work for everyone but I’m glad it did for me because I know how you feel. Never being exactly sure when to test or how long you have to wait. Sorry you didn’t get your bfp. Hoping for hope on your next cycle

    • No, that is why I posted the disclaimer/caveat, so no one would think this was directed at them. It’s just something I’ve heard a lot this week. Also you said why you don’t test early – not that I shouldn’t. Two totally different things.

  2. I thought I was having a TWW, but a few days before I planned to test (was really holding myself back to wait for what I thought was 14DPO), along came AF. 😦 Spent every single one of those nights getting up to pee and everything. My rainbow just weaned so my cycle is still getting going again, but having a dead first-born has made me desire perpetual pregnancy, I think, and I just can’t wait anymore (been wishing/hoping/not preventing since June but BF kept AF away until Dec).

    Let’s go, January! Would be a nice way to start the year, don’t you think?

    My blog is askyforblue.blogspot dot com if you want to have a look. (No pressure!) I said some pretty specific things about a family member recently who “happened upon” the blog, so lying low a bit the past few weeks, but still posting.

    I’m sorry you lost Noah. I’m sorry you’ve been forced to join the loss world. It’s just so darn sad and tremendously unfair.

  3. Oh, I am so sorry. I think it does sound like a chemical pregnancy, especially with the line on the frer. And by the way, I always start testing at 8 DPO and have gotten all my BFPs at 9 DPO, every time (except for the first one when I thought I had to wait until I missed a period.) For me, it is easier to know sooner than to hope more and more each day and then have a huge let down at 14 DPO. I also need to know early because I have to take progesterone supplements. I hope January is our month!

  4. I hear you. When I did natural cycles I didn’t test until I considered myself late or until I expected my period to come. But with my medicated cycles and IVF, I always tested early. After all that build-up I wanted to know as soon as possible if I was pregnant so I could feel joy. If I got an early negative, it didn’t make me sad, just more prepared for a possible BFN.
    Everyone is different and I am with you – I would want to know if I were having chemical pregnancies. Recurrent ones could mean something. Good for you for speaking up. Test away dear; many of us do.

  5. I’m sorry about the BFN, and that you feel like you need to defend your choices. I’m torn on this – like you, I’d need luteal phase support, but I don’t like seeing BFNs at all. And given our MFI issues it’s rather unlikely that I get pregnant on my own anyway…
    Fingers crossed for next month!

  6. I’m part of the “I don’t test early because BFN’s are tough for me to see” camp. Im also camped firmly in the belief of “To each their own” and “Get off your high horses”. Its every women’s right to test when she wants to, how she wants to, and on her own terms. That being said I am so sorry for the BFN!! Sending you love and prayers for the next cycle to be a success!! Holding you in prayer always!

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