And so it begins

I think I’ve mentioned here that March will be hard for me. Not just because Noah’s due date is March 11th, but also because there were 5 of us due in 12 days.

I was due the 11th
C was due the 9th
J was due the 13th
T was due the 14th
M was due the 21st

It has been hard knowing that all of them still had their healthy babies inside.

Tonight I saw my first birth announcement from one of them. C had her baby a week before her scheduled cesarean. I just stared at the announcement of Facebook before hiding her husband.

I was only FB friends with C and J. M-and T are in my local mom’s group so I see them twice a week. (Let me tell you how much that sucks.)

After seeing C’s announcement, I went to look up J who I had hidden. She unfriended me. I guess my posts were too much for her.

And so it begins, the births that were supposed to be with mine. The babies who were supposed to be Noah’s age. But Noah doesn’t age. He is perpetually 20weeks. But I will forever be watching these kids grow, and thinking it should have been Noah.

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9 thoughts on “And so it begins

  1. I’m sorry. I can only imagine how hard this is – I don’t know anyone personally with a due date so close to mine. Sure, I’ve been getting jealous at each hugely pregnant woman I’ve seen for weeks, but to see these babies being born and welcomed by people you know (who perhaps haven’t supported you as much as you needed it) must be much harder.
    Thinking of you as these dates approach.

  2. It is so hard to be on the sidelines just watching everything and everyone move on around you. It’s so unfair that you lost Noah. And then, to have everyone else–it seems–get what they want, when you can never. Hugs for all of March.

  3. I am so very sorry. I remember Lucy’s due date was so hard, and so many of my friends had baby girls the same month. One family even had 6 girls already and then had twin girls around Lucy’s due date. Eight girls! And I lost my one. It is hard to go from “How many months pregnant should I be” to “How old should he be.” I will be praying for you. By the way, my “rainbow baby” Jude was due March 19th so I will now be transitioning to “How old should he be” as well. You are not alone

  4. One of the hardest times for me was when everyone in my birthing class started having their babies. So not fair. Hang in there Mamma..prayers your way. xo

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