Due date

Dear Noah,
This is it. Your due date. I know they are just estimates, and even healthy, you could have been here months ago, or not yet. But his was supposed to be our time.


O has been asking about you today. We put up pictures from your birth day,and after naming everyone he asked ”


Where Baby Noah go?” It is so hard to explain to him. Whe we went out to get a lavender bush in your memory, he asked “Noah come too?” He is trying so hard to understand. He knows you are his brother, and he knows how important you are, and he sees pictures, but doesn’t understand why you aren’t here. I often don’t either.

So many people have reached out to us today. So many people were thinking of you, even though they never met you. People have come together to make diapers for Teeny Tears diapers for babies like you. They will all have cards with your name, and more families will know about you. Your life was so, so unfairly short. But your legacy and memory will live on.

I donated 8 sets of hats to our local hospital for other babies born still. And I am starting an etsy shop for preemie and micro preemie hats. It’s called Hats ON crochet. O for your brother, our preemie, and N for you.


It seems impossible, but you have been gone longer than we were together. I miss you so much. This was supposed to be the beginning for us. I wish so much that you could be here with me, there is so much we didn’t get to do. I would give anything if you could be here, healthy, breathing on your own. I miss you and I love you so much.

Love always


7 thoughts on “Due date

  1. This is so touching. I remember my twins’ due date vividly. It’s bittersweet and heartbreaking. I am so happy you are celebrating him and creating these hats for these tiny babies. It’s wonderful. I will be visiting your shop and consider making items for my local hospitals as well. Thinking of your family and N.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s