“I just have one.”
Those words came out of my mouth today and I instantly wanted them back. It happens occasionally. Usually when I have someone assuming that two children that are physically present are both mine and I correct them. But then it always feels wrong. Sure, only one of the two kids you are looking at is mine, but I have two children. But how do you go back and explain it? It’s always a stranger. Sometimes I correct myself. “Actually, I have two, but only one of these is mine.” Or something of the sort.
Today it was inline for an inflatable slide at an elementary school carnival. The person taking tickets told me to bring my 2 kids forward. But of course only O was with me. And I said it. Without thinking I said those words I hate so much. I stopped in my tracks. Reeling. But before I could open my mouth to say anything she was off helping another family.
“I have two.” I wanted to say. “I have two.”
Missing Noah 
This made me tear up…
Thank you. It can be so hard. B
I know the feeling. It’s so hard and you are so strong!
Thank you. You too.
I’m sorry. This sounds so hard.
It may look like you have just one with you, but in your heart there will always be two.
Sending you a huge hug, I feel for you so much xxx
Thank you
Yes. I debate this all the time. That age old question “how many kids do you have?” or “Is he your only?” Most of the time I say that I just have the one. It’s easier in the moment, but I do feel sadness and guilt in not acknowledging my twins. Every once in a while I will be open with the truth, but it often turns into an awkward situation. I feel your struggle and send warm hugs.