I know I’ve been really quiet lately. Between HG and my paralyzingly fear, everything has just been hard. We should get the results of our Panorama DNA test this week. I’m nervous even though as far as we know none of our losses have ever been for genetic reasons.
We have been open about this pregnancy since the get go to friends and family. If all comes back well with the Panorama test, I think we will post on face.book then. I have been struggling with how to do it. With O we were coming off of IF treatments with many friends still struggling. We ended up waiting until about 16w and then just did a text announcement.
With Noah, my pregnancy was so hard with HG I wanted to do something cute. While it may be over done we did the “shoe thing.”
I wanted something special for this baby, but I couldn’t imagine a purely happy announcement without acknowledging the fear, and Noah! and all that we’ve lost in the last year. I looked for other PgAL announcements, but didn’t find much. It seems like most people don’t announce, or mention a rainbow baby, or their lost baby having a little brother or sister. None of that seemed right to me. I’ve lost babies who I thought would be rainbows. Calling this baby a rainbow right now just felt like jinxing it. And while Noah is this baby’s big brother, he was to the babies we lost to chemical pregnancies too. Plus we have O.
I think I’ve finally decided on something. I’m not sure what if anything I will write with it. If all goes well, I will probably add baby boy/girl expected March 2015 on the ultrasound part, but this is what I am thinking.