Please let the ending be different

342 days ago I was 17 weeks with Noah. Today I am 17 weeks with Sam. 342 days ago, the ultrasound tech said everything that she could see looked fine and to come back in 3 weeks. The next day we got a call from the specialist who reviewed the pictures saying he wasn’t so sure. Three weeks later we got a call that we could pick up Noah’s ashes the next day.

There is nothing I can do but wait. Our next ultrasound is at 18w2d on September 30th. We got Noah’s diagnosis at an ultrasound at 18w1d on October 1st. I realized those dates don’t make sense. October 1st was when I was 17w and we first found out there was a problem. We got Noah’s diagnosis at 18w2d on October 9th.

I am reliving every step of the worst time in my life. And trying to have hope that this time, the ending will be different.

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7 thoughts on “Please let the ending be different

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