quick update: we are still here and everyone is doing fine. Quick picture at the bottom.
This month has been harder than I thought. Easter threw me for a loop. Last easter, the day before we left for my mom’s I got this.
(Having some issues, but it should show a positive opk. If not I’ll fix it later.)
And it led to a surprise IUI, a BFP, extremely low betas, and eventual loss.
With the quirk of moving holidays, that surprise IUI was actually a year ago today. But it was easter weekend that hit me with the tailspin of what ifs and should-have-beens.
I have Sam. And he is amazing, and wonderful, and already a better sleeper than his oldest brother is even now.
But I still miss Noah and all of the babies we’ve lost. I still cry when I think of them. And cry even more when people thoughtlessly refer to Sam as our 2nd. He may be the second child to live, but I still ache for all of our others. They count too.