Paranoia: please don’t die tonight

There are nights when I look at my sleeping kids, and all I can think, over and over again, is “please don’t die.”  
I had a dream last night that my oldest had died.  He was back as a ghost.  We played, but he couldn’t talk.  And I knew at somepoint he would leave.  

A child his in our state was murdered in an act of road rage this week.  I try to avoid such news but it has been everywhere.  The low level panic from reading about that is wearing me thin.  I can’t help but see my child in these stories.  I know it is someone’s little girl.  And there is nothing that makes me different from them other Han time and place.  I know how easy it is for life to change in an instant.  

So to my kids, tonight, please don’t die.  

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One thought on “Paranoia: please don’t die tonight

  1. I can relate to this so much. I have been having dreams of my older son dying or being in grave danger and awakening before I know if I can succeed in rescuing him for months. It’s awful. And the news has brought me to my knees for weeks on a few occasions for just the reason you mention. Rationally we know it isn’t our child in those stories (and I hurt – viscerally – for those other parents)… But irrationally or not… it could be.

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