Capture Your Grief Day 3: What It Felt Like

We knew what was happening.  Even though she wasn’t supposed to, the ultrasound tech had confirmed.  The fluid they thought they saw the week before – it was there.  I can only imagine how she must have felt.  Us asking.  Knowing she wasn’t supposed to say.  Knowing that what she saw was catastrophic.  
We knew, but we didn’t.  We knew there was a problem with his brain.  We had done our research.  We knew nothing could be done for 17 more weeks.  But we still expected a plan.  We were gearing up.  We expected to talk surgeries. 

The doctor came in.  He introduced himself.  Shook our hands.  He had white hair, rosy cheeks, and looked a little like Santa Claus.  But he was so serious.  

After introducing himself, he said the words I will remember forever.  

“It’s really bad.”

I thought he was joking.  I almost laughed in his face.  I was expecting him to smile. To say “just kidding” and tell us not to worry, there was a plan.  They do this all the time.  

Denial.  I only got to hang onto it for a few moments, but it was strong.  
#captureyourgrief #captureyourgrief2016


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