Capture Your Grief Day 12: Lemons + Lemonade

This prompt is supposed to be about finding the good that came out of the loss.  I don’t know that I can.  I don’t think there is some “higher purpose” to loss.  There are some things that have changed in me. Some things I do that are good.  But nothing is worth a loss like this.  You just keep going.  

The show “This is Us” had a quote in the first episode about “taking the sourest lemons and making them into something resembling lemonade.”  Resembling. You can have pieces of good. Pieces of happiness.  But you can take a lemon and make lemonade and be glad for it.  

I could tell you all the things.  That I love more deeply, or cherish moments more.  That getting to help others through loss is also helpful to me.  

But that’s sugarcoating.  It doesn’t tell you that with deeper love and cherishing more also comes greater anxiety.  That even buying clothes for them to grow into feels like tempting fate sometimes.  Or the pressure to do enough, to be enough, to make some kind of legacy to make up for the life that he didn’t get to have.  

So no.  There’s no lemonade here.  

#captureyourgrief #captureyourgrief2016

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