Just when you think you have the hang of grief, it surprises you. In the past October has been a big struggle for me from the 1st through Noah’s birthday on the 19th. And then it gets easier. I held it together pretty well in early October this year. I thought I was in the clear. “Look how well I’m handling things!” And then. This year it was the after that really rocked me. The milestones and the memories don’t stop after his birthday.
Yesterday was 3 years from the day we drove to the funeral home to pick up his ashes. I went to fabric store and bought the rainbow fabric for the rainbow baby blanket giveaways I did for #kindness for Noah. And some of the train fabric that was used for the teeny tears diaper we got at the hospital. I’m planning on using it to make some diaper and blanket sets to donate back. And maybe some keepsakes for myself as well.
Part of my struggle was the damn debate on his birthday. While I appreciate Hillary’s response, all of the back and forth articles have been triggering. And I’ve had many people tag me in supportive comments on Facebook – which would be great if I was completely out with our story. But I’m not. That is the one little detail I have kept off my personal social media. So between that and seeing anti-choice bumper stickers on the vehicles of two local folks I know… it has just been a rough week.