You think you won’t. Your child is dead, how could you ever smile? Ever be happy? Ever find something funny? But you do. Life keeps going. It seems cruel, but it does. And you feel guilty. You smile, you laugh, you breathe easier for a few minutes. And then it hits you. You aren’t supposed to be happy. You feel like you are betraying them. How can you enjoy things that they will ever get to enjoy?
But you go on. And you keep smiling. And eventually it doesn’t feel as bad to feel happy. You go on. Not with out them, but for them. You will smile again. And that’s ok.