Capture Your Grief Day One – Sunrise

I am not a morning person.  Anyone who knows me knows that is an understatement.  But once a year I set my alarm, earlier than I need to, to capture the sunrise. I do it for Noah.  Once a year, October arrives, and with it, memories of a little boy whose stay was far too short.   

This sunrise was grey.  It has been raining for days and clouds hover.  I am feeling grey – run down, worn out.  As fall has started with Kindergarten and preschool, 2 sets of teachers, needs, adjustments, and friends – I wonder.  How would I do this with three?  What would life look like if he were alive?  I can barely keep my head above water with two needs pulling at me.  I watch a family with three living boys and think “that should be me” and “could I have done that?” 

I’d like to think in another world I am.  In another world they all exist.  I know there would be enough love to go around.  

#captureyourgrief #captureyourgrief2017


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