I have a love/hate relationship with Timehop. It often makes me sad, but I wouldn’t trade the photos, the memories, and the emotions for anything. This picture showed up this week. I remember the trip, and the picture all too clearly. What always strikes me with this photo is how I know others see […]
Two years old. It’s incredible. I love you so much. My sweet rainbow baby.
Yesterday Owen told Sam that he was “the best brother ever!” It was wonderful, and sweet, and heartbreaking. He never got the chance to play with and snuggle his first brother. I have a million pictures of Owen and Sam. Owen loves getting their picture taken together. This is the only picture we have […]
Light and Dark. Grief and Joy. We grieve because we love. One picture shows one of our darkest moments and the light and joy we felt when Sam was born safely. And the other the heartache we felt, missing Noah even in our joy. I recently read back over some things I wrote […]
When Sam was a newborn it was easy to imagine the clock had been reset. It was easy to look at him and think that the past year had been a dream and that Noah was a tiny, healthy baby. Now Sam is almost 5 months. He is a happy wiggly baby. I have […]
Today, the first of the babies due the same week as Noah turned one. She’s the daughter of a dear friend. They call her their sunshine baby, and it makes me nervous, as if they are tempting fate. I’m sure they are just unaware of the meaning of sunshine baby in the loss community, but […]
Rambling: a lot of stuff is coming up right now. I saw a whole bunch of tandem nursing pictures in a breast feeding group and it makes me sad. We would almost certainly have tandem nursed had Noah lived. He and Owen would have been only 2.5 years apart. Owen mostly self weaned this fall. […]
“I just have one.” Those words came out of my mouth today and I instantly wanted them back. It happens occasionally. Usually when I have someone assuming that two children that are physically present are both mine and I correct them. But then it always feels wrong. Sure, only one of the two kids you […]