Today we did acts of kindness for Noah. And we asked others to join us. We went for a beautiful hike to the waterfall. We had dinner, and cake, and tried to explain to Sam who all of this was for. Owen gets it in a way that I wonder if Sam ever will. At […]
There was a sudden downpour yesterday that led to this beautiful sight out our back window. A double rainbow. One strong, one hazy. It felt like a metaphor. We have our rainbow. Sam is here, strong and vibrant. He can light up a room with his laugh and wants so much to do it all. […]
Two years old. It’s incredible. I love you so much. My sweet rainbow baby.
There are so many things that Owen and Sam have in common. I often wonder if Noah would have been our outlier, or just like his brothers. Would he have had their blue eyes, their love of music, singing and dancing? Would he have shared their trouble sleeping, eating, their late mobility, and speech […]
Yesterday Owen told Sam that he was “the best brother ever!” It was wonderful, and sweet, and heartbreaking. He never got the chance to play with and snuggle his first brother. I have a million pictures of Owen and Sam. Owen loves getting their picture taken together. This is the only picture we have […]
Since starting preschool when I was newly pregnant with Sam, Owen has been asked to bring in a family picture three times. I never know what to send. There is no complete family picture. The closest I can get is one like this, that includes Noah’s Molly Bear. Owen was asked to decorate […]
Light and Dark. Grief and Joy. We grieve because we love. One picture shows one of our darkest moments and the light and joy we felt when Sam was born safely. And the other the heartache we felt, missing Noah even in our joy. I recently read back over some things I wrote […]
When Sam was a newborn it was easy to imagine the clock had been reset. It was easy to look at him and think that the past year had been a dream and that Noah was a tiny, healthy baby. Now Sam is almost 5 months. He is a happy wiggly baby. I have […]