When people say you murdered your baby

I know I’ve been absent. But I need to get this out. If anyone is still here, forgive me for only coming here in pain. I’m struggling. With everything in the news, with everything being posted. I have been unfriended by family. I have had people I considered friends tell me (unknowing that it applies […]

Two and a half years

Yesterday Owen told Sam that he was “the best brother ever!” It was wonderful, and sweet, and heartbreaking. He never got the chance to play with and snuggle his first brother.   I have a million pictures of Owen and Sam. Owen loves getting their picture taken together. This is the only picture we have […]

1 out of 5

So we had our first appointment with the high-risk specialist(MFM), and first ultrasound Tuesday. Everything looks good. We could just see the gestational sac, as we expected. But man going over history was hard. Particularly when I checked in, in a room full of hugely pregnant women when they asked me what number pregnancy this […]

“I have two.”

“I just have one.” Those words came out of my mouth today and I instantly wanted them back.  It happens occasionally.  Usually when I have someone assuming that two children that are physically present are both mine and I correct them.  But then it always feels wrong.  Sure, only one of the two kids you […]