10DPO and crying to random lab techs

So I didn’t see a line when I tested again this morning. So crazy person I am, I put a lid on my pee cup, drove to the store, bought a more sensitive test and then tested in the parking lot. And if that isn’t crazy enough for you, I couldn’t decide if I saw a line, so I drove over to a friend’s house to see what she thought. She thought she saw maybe where the line was supposed to be, but wasn’t. An evaporation line. Which this brand is known for not having. So I was not very hopeful. She also mentioned the one thing I have been fearing. That since I seemed to get a light, but there line on Tuesday, and haven’t had anything as clear since that it could be a chemical pregnancy. Bah.

So at that point I decided enough waiting, I have to know one way or another. So I called my GP and asked for an HCG beta test. I got the call that it was okayed and would be printed as we got to our mom’s group, so my friend L watched him while I went and got it and went to the lab. After waiting an eternity at the lab, I finally go back. And that’s when I lose it.

The tech asks all happily if I am pregnant, or if this is to confirm pregnancy. I sort of mumble that it’s to figure out what the heck is going on. She says well, she wishes for me whatever results I’m hoping for. And I couldn’t let it go with her thinking I was hoping for a neg, so I say “I got a positive test on Tuesday and it’s getting lighter.” She is comforting, and asks if this is my first. I say, no, and she asks how old. So then I have to tell her that. Owen is 2, and Noah was stillborn in October. Cue crying through the whole blood draw. She was really nice, and when I asked how soon we could get the results, she called my doc back, and asked if it was ok to rush them. So they should come in tonight, and hopefully I will get a call. If not, I’ll go in first thing in the morning to pick them up.

To top it all off, I decided to test again, just for the hell of it is afternoon after pee holding since first thing this morning. Pretty sure there is a pink line. And I’ve been exhausted the last 2 days despite Owen sleeping through the night. So I don’t know what to think. Isn’t the 2ww fun?